It’s tempting to think that your desire for alone time is selfish, but everyone can benefit, TBH. If you’re feeling guilty about needing space, try to understand and reframe those feelings.
#I just wanna be alone with you professional#
For example, “On Tuesdays after work, I’d love to use that time to hang out on my own for an hour.” Horsham-Brathwaite also says that if you are afraid of your partner’s reaction, you should reach out to a professional to get additional support. For instance, instead of saying, “Ugh, your breathing is starting to stress me out,” you can opt for something less harsh and more focused on what you want to gain from having some more space, not how your recent togetherness is diminishing your happiness. “We don’t have to start an argument to gain space,” Roberts explains, adding that you can keep the conversation focused on you. Try to hold firm in your desire and remember that taking care of your needs is essential to being a good partner. If your partner sulks or gets upset, please know that you’re still entitled to some alone time. “Some people recharge with alone time, but some people actually feel like they recharge by being around people,” Vernessa Roberts, Psy.D., a counseling psychologist, tells SELF. It does mean that you should approach them with heaps of compassion and refrain from speaking in a way that might make them feel like you think their approach to the relationship is wrong. That doesn’t mean, however, that you don’t deserve some time to yourself. Reassure your partner that taking solo time doesn’t mean you want emotional distance.Įven if you’re super clear that you only need “a minute” and you’ll come back to snuggle right away, it’s entirely possible that you’re living with someone who doesn’t need (or particularly understand) alone time. Doing this will mitigate some of the anxiousness that can come up when you explain that you need a bit of space. When you approach your partner about needing a little time away, make sure you’re honest and specific about your needs (see tip #1). Often, in a fit of frustration, we can throw around phrases like, “I just need some space.” But the term “space” can conjure up anything from an afternoon bathtub soak to a full-on breakup. Do you need to leave your house for a little while-preferring to take a long leisurely hike? Or are you happiest when you’re sitting in the same room with your partner without speaking? Maybe alone time just means putting on noise-canceling headphones and having permission to check out for a while? Before you have a conversation about your “need for space,” have an honest conversation with yourself to figure that out so you can articulate it intentionally. “And sometimes in order to feel that way, we need some opportunity to be with ourselves emotionally or…physically.” That said, alone time means different things to different people, Horsham-Brathwaite explains. “Fulfilled, happy, and whole people make good partners,” Cicely Horsham-Brathwaite, Ph.D., a psychologist and mindset coach, tells SELF. Figure out what alone time looks like for you. Below, you’ll find a few things to keep in mind as you prepare to talk to your partner about getting a little alone time during the pandemic. It can be hard to let people know you need a little bit of space-especially when you genuinely enjoy having them around. How do you tell your favorite quarantine partner that you want to watch Love Island alone? Is it terrible to explain to your beloved that, although you’re so happy they enjoy your morning workout (#swolemate), exercise has always been something you do solo? So it’s totally normal if you’re craving more solo time. Even if you’re someone who has returned to work and other activities, a lot of your time probably still involves your home and the people with whom you live.
But here’s the thing: We’re now a few months into the pandemic, and we’re all still, well, together.
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